How Do You Do Commitment?

 [fusion_builder_container hundred_percent="yes" overflow="visible"][fusion_builder_row][fusion_builder_column type="1_1" background_position="left top" background_color="" border_size="" border_color="" border_style="solid" spacing="yes" background_image="" background_repeat="no-repeat" padding="" margin_top="0px" margin_bottom="0px" class="" id="" animation_type="" animation_speed="0.3" animation_direction="left" hide_on_mobile="no" center_content="no" min_height="none"]You know those people who commit to something—say running a marathon or creating a new business—and no matter what, they never give up? From where I’m standing, it looks like they don’t waver or give even a thought to giving up. In fact, when I’ve asked some of these people if they ever think about giving up, they’ve told me, “Absolutely not. I’m committed to this and I never take my eye off the prize.” Dang. That’s impressive. I’ve always admired people like that, especially because I’m not one of them. Inside I feel a lot more “wobbly” than those “committed” types. Yet as I look back on my life, I see that when the rubber hits the road, I am every bit as committed as they are—I just approach it differently.For me, having a choice to quit or having an “out” is the key to my success. In fact, the fewer options I have the less likely I am to stay committed.  When someone asks me if, when things have gotten rough, I’ve ever thought of giving up on my business, I respond by emphatically say, “Yes! Frequently, in fact.”For me, my style of commitment revealed itself to me in 2001 while I was training for a three-day, sixty-mile walk to raise money to find a cure for breast cancer. During those months, I begrudgingly completed the suggested training walks, wore out several pairs of shoes, and earned the callouses on my feet.The training walks started in March, so most of my training was completed in fairly mild temperatures—but the walk itself was in July, the height of summer. At 8am on the first day it was already 80 degrees outside. By the end of the first twenty-two miles, it hit 99 degrees and people were going down left and right. Heat stroke, massive blisters on the backs of people’s calves due to the heat radiating from the concrete . . . walking into camp that night, I saw more stretchers and aid cars than I have ever seen in one place before. None of us had trained in this kind of heat. In those three days, my commitment was tested, to say the least.  The organizers of the event offered “pit stops” every two miles where you could use the restroom, fill up your water bottle, and get a bite to eat. They also offered a “no-judgment” van that would allow you to bypass walking the rest of the route for the day and take you straight to camp so you could rest and try for the next day. By mid-morning of the second day, I started panicking, fixated on the fact that I wasn’t even halfway through the day’s walk. I wanted out.Instead of actually quitting, however, I came up with a solution: I gave myself more options.  I allowed myself to legitimately consider getting on that “no-judgment” van at every pit stop. When I started feeling nauseous or when my toenail popped off, I would simply tell myself, “I can get on that bus in less than two miles. Let’s just go until then.” Then at every single pit stop I thought (sometimes fantasized) about what it would feel like to get on the bus—and every time I decided to continue on until the next one and evaluate again when I got there. Ultimately I got to the end of the second day and then the third—through the entire sixty miles—without getting on the bus. My strategy was to let myself have a choice every two miles. When I truly felt at choice my commitment emerged and I got the result I intended.    So, when my clients start “future-tripping” (getting panicked about what’s coming) or start feeling trapped I immediately offer them an option and sometimes that option is to quit. It’s amazing what happens when you give someone the option of NOT doing something they’ve committed to doing. It changes perspective more than you might think. In every case, when I give them the option of giving up, my clients feel empowered and continue towards achieving their goal.Experiment:The next time you have a daunting commitment in front of you, be sure to break it out into manageable pieces (like my two-mile pit stops), and if you start getting nervous about how daunting it is, give yourself a legitimate option to quit. If you’re like most leaders I know, you won’t quit—in fact, you might just surprise yourself with your level of commitment.[/fusion_builder_column][/fusion_builder_row][/fusion_builder_container]